Parenting: Heaven or Hell

In everyone’s life there comes a period, when you fall in love madly, get engaged and then get married hoping for a better life, seeking for happiness and trying to make your beloved happy. And then? One day you find out that you are expecting a baby… yeaaaaay, great news. But after realizing the news, you start wondering: “Well, we will become parents, but how we will bring the child up? We want him/her to become a good person, but how should we handle it???” This is one concern that touches almost every parent-to-be. Of course every parent wants their children to be successful, happy, strong and kind people in life, but the way we try to reach this, varies. Recently I was searching info on this and I came across an interesting fact I haven’t even given thought to before: the way of parenting is linked to one’s cultural background. So, the way I think to raise my child up is grounded on my cultural ideas, it’s subconsciously grounded, and quite often we don’t even understand it. I want us to get superficial understanding of the parenting way in diverse cultures and try to obtain every positive and useful tricks of parenting we will find in the given cultures.

Let’s start our short analysis from one of the superpowers of the world: America. People in America tend to bring their children up in an interesting way, that nobody even understands what they are doing. They themselves even don’t understand what they are doing. Most importantly, they believe that their choices for their children dig out a good future for them. American parents care much about what others thinking about their parenting styles. Actually they prefer to raise their children freely, yet they give a great amount of coddling to their children. They may dress a 4,5 year old child, when they can get dressed by themselves, or defend their children from dispraise after a bad behavior, instead of letting them take responsibility for their attempt. This is harmful as they raise uncertain people, not able to take responsibility for their actions. Yet in some families children are taught to work and helping their parents from the very early age. This is useful trick, as it teaches them to be strong and capable of work.

Why Parenting Styles Matter When Raising Children

In Norway children are brought up in an organized setting from the very early age. Norwegians believe that their children should be in fresh air as much as possible. Schoolchildren even eat outdoors at cold weather wearing gloves and hats. By the way in Norway there are no playgrounds there and children activities are really limited, so they have to do grown-up activities.

How to Parent Like a Scandinavian | Time

In Japan 4,5 year old children get Tokyo subways in busy streets, which is really strange from the point of view of Americans, for example. But Japanese let their children do this only in Japan. Both in Japan and Norway children do things alone very early, like going to school or to the movies. In Japan they teach children the right behavior by practicing it themselves, and they never argue in front of their children.

Ikumen: How Japan's 'hunky dads' are changing parenting - BBC Future

In Jewish way of parenting it’s important to teach children to swim, this is linked to the fact that they are sure they should teach their children to leave them, so they want to raise self-confident and strong people and letting them make mistakes. In Spain, for example, they are more focused on interpersonal life, so they are shocked their children can go to bed at 6 pm, without getting engaged with the evening activities of the family. The same happens in Russia, their 2 year old child can go to bed at 11 pm or even later.

So, after a short analysis we come to the fact that every parent tends to raise a self-confident, strong and successful person, but the way they choose to apply differs. Besides cultural background, one’s mindset, education and their upbringing also matters. On my personal opinion, it’s right to teach the child to leave, to prepare them to adult life, independent life. After all you make your parenting hell or heaven, get pleasure from every moment of teaching something good to your children and don’t get too obsessed with it.

About the author